Just as I was getting my life back on track, I get news that puts me right back at square one. Now that my worst year was all behind me, sadly I’m faced with another battle.. a much bigger one.
A couple weeks ago, I started having severe pains on the left side of my abdomen (same side as before). The pain was off and on so I thought nothing much of it. It only got more painful and so painful I could barely get around on foot. I knew it was time to see my physician at Evergreen. When I did, they immediately ordered a CT scan of my chest and an MRI of my abdomen. I was prescribed some pain killers to help manage the pain. I was discharged soon after and later that day was contacted regarding the results- the cancer is back and now twice the size. The doctor says this time it’s 13 centimeters in diameter. Now I’m thinking, “How can this be happening to me again? Haven’t I been through enough?”
Yes, I knew that there was a high chance of recurrence. That was always on the back of my mind. It was an aggressive tumor, but just didn’t think it would happen so soon. A full year hasn’t even passed and my January scans were all clear…so how does this manage to happen all within 4 months time????
After my surgical oncologist at SCCA reviewed my scans, there was no question that another surgery had to be done. But first I had to meet with a radiation oncologist who specializes in the treatment of sarcoma cancers. There was a good chance I would have to do a few treatment rounds of radiation prior to surgery.
Feelings of shock, disbelief, anxiety, fear, anger, uncertainty and sadness all come pouring in again. But there is something that I have that I didn’t have before – experience. And with experience comes expectation. Having gone through this before is somewhat comforting because I’ll know what to expect in the days, weeks, months ahead.
Thank you all for taking the time to read through all of this, you can also follow my blog to get the latest update. Please continue to keep me in your thoughts and prayers. Don’t forget to leave me a “love note”, it makes my days that much better when I get a chance to hear from you.
I thought I fought my biggest battle last year, or so I thought. This is Round 2 and it’s going to take more “fight” but I’m positive I can get through this. I just can’t give up on myself or lose hope, because that’s my biggest enemy.
I have been reading about your life and all the things that you inspire me to be and do and for one of the few times, after reading this entry, I am left speechless. When this phenomenon happens to me, I do what I have been taught to do … I find words of comfort and faith in other places … I will continue to pray for you and your family and friends and feel relieved knowing that you feel ok too.
Isaiah 40:29-31
He gives power to the weak
and strength to the powerless.
Even youths will become weak and tired,
and young men will fall in exhaustion.
But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength.
They will soar high on wings like eagles.
They will run and not grow weary.
They will walk and not faint.
Your journey scares me but also gives me faith to believe in your strength and your faith.
Please let me know what I can do to help 🙂
Thank you Love for your ongoing support. You have always been there for me with your kind words and strength that everything will get better.
xo,
cam