My First Year as a Mom: a letter to Avery

Dear Avery, my little love,

I can’t believe it’s been a year already. Everyone says how quickly the first year flies by and, boy, are they right. And, Avery, I think we made it through with flying colors.

When you came into this world at 5:43 PM on Saturday, April 1st 2017, I was so excited to meet you. Nine months is a long time, so when I went in for my weekly OB appointment at 38 weeks on Friday morning, they told me that I had really high blood pressure and that it was time! Eeek! To be honest, I was terrified! I felt unprepared and was definitely not looking forward to the pain that labor and deliver brings, but I was finally going to meet you!

Meeting you for the first time was incredible. I loved you immediately. And the love was so much stronger than I ever expected it to be. Truthfully, I never thought I could love someone as much as I love your Dad, but the love I felt for you blew that out of the water. It was so intense at times, it felt like my heart was going to explode. It was the deepest, most powerful love I have ever felt, and it only gets stronger and stronger everyday.

But, I won’t lie. The first three months were so challenging at times. The days were long, exhausting, overwhelming, and sometimes I didn’t think I could make it another day. Thank goodness Nana was around (who loves to call you ‘Baby Duck-Duck’) and Dad was home for the summer to help us through those first few months. Even though neither of us knew what we were doing, we did the best we could and made it through those crazy first months in one piece. We even managed to go on a camping trip – even if it was just for one night! No, I don’t think that was the craziest thing we did during those first few month – we planted a travel bug in you early on and took you on your first airplane trip to Boston! Dad had some work to do and since I was still on maternity leave, I figure why not! You were so well-behaved on the plane – you didn’t make a peep! I hope you are always well-behaved on future airplane adventures!

Breastfeeding started out rocky, you were always hungry and I always felt like I wasn’t feeding you enough. Watching you while you breastfeed was beautiful, but the pain I felt afterwards was excruciating. There were times I would disrupt you’re feedings cause I was in so much pain and you’d cry cause you were still hungry and I would cringe when it came time for the next feed. Eventually we figure out a system that worked for the both of us which involve a lot of pumping and midnight nursing that I’m PROUD to say that you had mama’s milk for a WHOLE YEAR! Woohoo!

When you turned 6 months old, everything changed for the better. You were a little older and your Dad and I were a little wiser, so our days together started to become a wonderful adventure. You were baptized, you started sitting up all by yourself, you started to eat solids and loved it and you laughed a whole lot. (Oh, how I love your laugh. It is music to my ears.) Things started to get much easier and our family really started to get into a groove. The best part of all is that Grammy stayed with us to help care for you while I went back to work! I don’t know how we could have done it without the help of Grammy – she made our life so much more manageable! The bond you guys have is just the cutest thing – you both enjoy watching Wheel of Fortune together, the mini arguments you guys have over the missing remote control, how you always stay so still when it comes time for Grammy to cut your nails! Oh, and let’s not forget about you’re biggest adventure and that was taking you’re first international trip to London & Paris! Again, you were so well behaved on the plane and you enjoyed all the different types of baby foods you were eating!

At 10 months, I wanted to freeze time. What a fun age! Even though, I say this at every stage of your life now, 10 months was another turning point for me. We really started to see your personality develop. You were (and still are) Mr. Serious when you meet new people or experience new places, but as soon as you’re comfortable, you turn into your silly, smart, and inquisitive self. At 10 months, you were also crawling like a maniac, pulling yourself up on everything, and “talking” & “screaming” our ears off. (I think you’re a lot like me in this way since I get excited when I talk) What’s even more impressive is that you managed to master the ‘WALK’ at 11 months! You’re going to walk like a boss to your first birthday party this weekend! You’re growing up so fast, and it’s such an exciting time for all of us and a bit sad for me!

And just one more thing to tell you, even though it will probably sound a little cheesy: Sometimes when I’m rocking you or watching you sleep, I feel the urge to cry because you mean so much to me. You have brought so much happiness and love into our lives this past year, and there isn’t a single day that I haven’t appreciated how lucky we are to have you as our son.

Happy 1st birthday, Avery. You’re the love of my life, and I’m so proud to be your mom. Dad and I love you so much.

Love,
Mama

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